My immediate impression was, every scene was visually stunning, seemingly embedded with lots of meaning, but trying to find the meaning behind the scenes and put it together is hard. 7/10.

The movie is about a Christ-like figure and an Alchemist that leads eight people on a quest to find immortality.

The film, as described by the director Jodorowsky himself, is meant to do:

“what most North Americans ask of psychedelic drugs. The difference being that when one creates a psychedelic film, he need not create a film that shows the visions of a person who has taken a pill; rather, he needs to manufacture the pill.”

It is less meant to make conceptual sense, but more like to get the kind of self-insight one gets on a psychedelic trip, hard to put in words, a kind of transcendental experience.

If I had to put the big themes into words, it would probably be enlightenment. All of them are on a quest to reach immortality, which is nothing more than enlightenment. Throughout the movie, you see scene over scene of how corrupted humanity is: commodification, cruelty, and much more. Yet through all of this, people still yearn for something that transcends all this. All these material conditions serve as a distraction for enlightenment. Thus, we first see what prevents enlightenment, and then we get rid of it.

When they finally reach the promised mountain that is supposed to give immortality, only the Christ-like figure stays behind; the others go up the mountain. Here, the great twist happens:

“I promised you the great secret and I will not disappoint you. Is this the end of our adventure? Nothing has an end. We came in search of the secret of immortality. To be like gods. And here we are… mortals. More human than ever. If we have not obtained immortality, at least we have obtained reality. We began in a fairytale and we came to life! But is this life reality? No. It is a film. Zoom back camera. We are images, dreams, photographs. We must not stay here! Prisoners! We shall break the illusion. This is Maya (illusion). Goodbye to the holy mountain. Real life awaits us.”

There was no enlightenment; there is no immortality; there are no gods; there is no secret path or recipe for happiness or enlightenment. All that there is is reality.

And that is not only true for the characters of the movie but also for us, the audience. When the Alchemist breaks the fourth wall and seems to address us, the audience, directly with “Real life awaits us,” we have two meanings. The first for the eight people in the movie that followed the Alchemist to the mountain: There was no enlightenment, there is no immortality, there are no gods, there is no secret path or recipe for happiness or enlightenment, all that there is is reality. But this is not only true for the characters in the movie but also for us. While watching the movie, we were looking to get some insight on what the movie means, how to get enlightenment, and so on, but there is none of that, and like the eight, we the audience need to return to our lives no wiser than before. This is the second meaning.

But Jodorowsky offers a bit more, because what happened to the Christ-like figure that was left behind? He was left behind because there was never anything on the mountain for him in the first place. Instead, he united with the woman he loves:

“Unite yourself with this good woman, who came here only because she loves you. Forget the summits, reach eternity through love. Return to your country. I leave you my tower and my alchemical rooms. This is your family and your people.”

Thus, in fact, he is the only one reaching happiness through the teachings of the Alchemist. He transcended the corrupt society and achieved enlightenment on his own through love. Hence, the movie offers the message: those who seek enlightenment through power and corruption will never find it; only through love, self-discovery, and life itself can enlightenment be reached.

Ich gebe ein Paar Proben von dem, was sich diese kleinen Leute in den Kopf gesetzt, was sie ihrem Meister in den M u n d g e l e g t h a b e n : lauter Bekenntnisse „schöner Seelen“ .

Wahrlich, ich sage euch, es stehen Etliche hier, die werden »5 den Tod nicht schmecken, bis dass sie sehen das Reich Gottes in Kraft kommen“ (Marc. 9, 1). — G u t g e l o g e n , Löwe . . .

„Freuet euch alsdann und hüpfet: de nn siehe, euer Lohn ist gross im Himmel. Desgleichen thaten ihre Väter den Prophe­ ten auch“ ((Luc. 6, 23)) U n v e r s c h ä m t e s Gesindel! Es ver­gleicht sich bereits mit den Propheten …

~ Antichrist § 45, Nitzsche

Was ist gut? — Alles, was das Gefühl der Macht, den Willen zur Macht, die Macht selbst im Menschen erhöht. Was ist schlecht? — Alles, was aus der Schwäche stammt. Was ist Glück? — Das Gefühl davon, dass die Macht w ä c h s t , dass ein Widerstand überwunden wird. N i c h t Zufriedenheit, sondern mehr Macht; n i c h t Friede überhaupt, sondern Krieg; n i c h t Tugend, sondern Tüchtigkeit (Tugend im Renaissance-Stile, virtu, moralinfreie Tugend)

Die Schwachen und Missrathnen sollen zu Grunde gehn: erster Satz u n s r e r Menschenliebe. Und man soll ihnen noch dazu helfen. Was ist schädlicher als irgend ein Laster? — Das Mitleiden der That mit allen Missrathnen und Schwachen — das Christen­ thum . . .

~ Antichrist § 2, Nitzsche

Metadata

• Date: 14.10.2025
• Dosage: 110ug
• Duration:
  • Intake: 15:00
  • Peak: 18:00
  • Offset: 21:00

Special

• Couldn’t sleep until 06:00; I was kind of scared to go to bed until it was light outside.
• The next day I was extremely tired; only after two days were the effects completely gone.
• Again: not much visual effect.
• The first half of the trip was good, then it turned bad.
  • For the whole trip my stomach felt weird, like I had eaten something wrong (even though I did not, it was purely mental).
  • During the later half of the trip I felt like I hadn’t eaten in ages; I had zero energy, I wanted to sink in my bed.
  • Whenever I went to the toilet and looked down at myself, I felt like I was getting “spaghettified.” My arms and legs felt unnaturally thin, my whole body too. But this wasn’t a visual hallucination, more of a conceptual feeling.
  • I played a game of Deadlock to distract myself, but this made the trip feel worse. Because I felt so low-energy and sluggish, I couldn’t move properly or aim, which increased my perception of how badly the trip was going.
  • The phenomenology was just bad. I just felt horrible. If I needed to describe how it felt, it felt bad intrinsically, the raw phenomenology itself was bad.
  • I got out of the bad trip at the end by watching the anime City: The Animation. Very good anime.

Insights

• We are all made imperfect, like our body doesn’t perfectly fit our spirit/soul/consciousness. It’s like wearing a sock that doesn’t fit perfectly: an annoying sense that something is off, something doesn’t quite match. It feels like there is something out there to remedy this, a missing piece; we are all grasping for something, for this missing piece to make us whole, so that this constant inner itch disappears.
• Unstructured and unordered music, more precisely Dionysian music (e.g., the band awakebutstillinbed) as opposed to Apollonian music , expresses this grasping, but not in the sense of reaching something perfect. There is no final release. Instead, the catharsis comes from the screaming itself, like someone drowning and screaming for help while knowing no one will come. The screaming becomes a valve for release. That is what Dionysian art is about. A short period of Self-Annihilation.
• In Stoicism and Buddhism there is the idea that much of our suffering is self-inflicted, the physical sensation of pain cannot be avoided, but judging it as “bad” and lamenting it instead of accepting it makes the experience far worse, like the second arrow. But this is easier said than done. When we actually experience suffering, not abstractly, but in its phenomenology, its qualia, its intrinsic quality; avoiding the second arrow feels Herculean, like climbing Mount Everest. It feels impossible.
• There is a difference between emotional truth and intellectual truth. Intellectually you might know, to quote the song bloodline by awakebutstillinbed: “Everything you love / will be taken away from you / … one day.” But this is not the same as emotionally realizing it. The hope is that if one realizes a truth intellectually, the heart will eventually follow, but is this true? I don’t know.
• This trip, feeling the intrinsic badness of the experience (i.e., it didn’t feel bad because of reason X or Y; it was simply bad in itself), made me realize that although intellectually I might agree with the Stoic and Buddhist teachings, my heart is still far from them.
• In this moment, where everything was in flux and constantly changing, I understood the appeal of God, to have a solid foundation that nothing can move. Instead of a chain of reasoning floating in the air. There was a certain tiredness of thinking, a desire to give up and rest on the Abgrund. At the same time, I wondered whether it was possible to build a stable foundation within a dynamic system, like the three stars in The Three-Body Problem: a configuration where they become stable.

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