I had a strange dream. I was at home with my mother, and another girl was there too. I don’t know exactly who the girl was or why she was living with us. However, I know that I had been teasing her from time to time, and we had a kind of friend-ish relationship.

At one point, when I teased her, she didn’t respond. I thought it was unusual but decided to leave it alone. Later, when I came back and still didn’t get a response, I found her in the washroom.

She was standing in a puddle of sodium washing powder, tears streaming down her face, trying to ignite the powder to kill herself.

I asked her what was wrong, and she told me she had a sickness. She used the German word “Verzerrung” to describe it, which roughly means “consumption” — a disease where the body eats itself, leading to a slow and agonizing death with no cure.

I hugged her and then sat down at the dinner table with my mother, thinking about what to do.

I woke up - It was 4 AM.

What is morality?

When a man throws puppies into the roaring, tumultuous current from a bridge, where can I find the immorality of it? Can I see it? Can I hear it? Can I sense it at all? What if I could read the brainwaves of the man and the puppies—would the immorality be in there? If not, where is it?

Is the immorality in me? If yes, what does that mean? Can we speak about objectivity if it’s within me? Perhaps morality is tied to emotions—I certainly would feel angry rather than engage in logical calculations. But why, then, do I feel as if these emotions are truths? Isn’t there such a thing as moral progress? We no longer have slavery, nor do children need to work in harsh conditions. How can we have moral progress without objectivity? But what if I were born an Aztec, and the man was an Aztec priest, and the puppies were human sacrifices—wouldn’t I feel it was right?

Where does morality come from?

Is it from God? Did God simply decide that good things are good? If so, why did He not decide that murder is good? Maybe morality existed before God. But how could something come before the infinite and perfect? Perhaps morality was constructed. Why? To keep society harmonious and ensure reproduction? Did morality come from evolution? What if it were evolutionarily advantageous to torture children—would torturing children then be right?

Does it even matter?

“The restless mind is an unhappy mind.”

Computer Broke. This is the first time that, through my own actions, I not only nuked the operating system (as I did with Debian, Arch, and FreeBSD) but also the entire computer.

The background is that I was booting NixOS and wanted to switch from systemd-boot to grub because it looks “nicer.” While executing the command for switching, I got a warning: “/boot not found.” I decided to try rebooting my computer to see if the issue would resolve.

To no one’s surprise, my computer didn’t boot anymore—it didn’t even show the UEFI. When I turned the computer on, it just displayed a black screen for 10 seconds, turned off, and restarted in an endless loop, going round and round like a washing machine.

Troubleshooting steps I tried:

• Removing the second monitor
• Removing the RAM
• Removing the SSD on which NixOS was installed
• Removing the SSD on which Windows was installed
• Booting from a Live USB stick

Operating system: three points. MonkeMan: zero points.