Sanity

October 16, 2024

Today is one of those days.
Nothing that I do not believe exist, is real.
I feel my sanity is slipping.
Who have I to blame but me?

“A delusion starts like any other idea, as an egg. Identical on the outside, perfectly formed. From the shell, you’d never know anything was wrong. It’s what’s inside that matters"
~ Legion

With what do I numb my brain today?
So many choices.
Will I drink, until I can’t think anymore?
Will I stress my ears with screams, drowning all thoughts?
Will I smoke, until the sleep takes me?

“I sometimes have moments of such despair, such despair … Because in those moments I start to think that I will never be capable of beginning to live a real life; because I have already begun to think that I have lost all sense of proportion, all sense of the real and the actual; because, what is more, I have cursed myself; because my nights of fantasy are followed by hideous moments of sobering!”
~ Dostoyevsky

I wish I was the monke from bloons tower defense 6.
Popping one balloon after another.
Poop! Poop! Poop! Poop! Poop!
Poop! Poop! Poop! Poop! Poop!
Conciousness was a cruel misstake, of the universe mistress.

“Time is like a dream. It’s impossible to tell wat is true and what is false. When you dream, you see others. Perhaps, in the world of others, the dream version of you appears. Or perhaps, our lives are like an invisible bubble that could pop at any time and cause us to awaken.”
~ ISSTH